New England hot dogs and New Orleans hot dogs

I don't follow a lot of sports.  While I haven't been able to escape the recent World Cup coverage, it's mostly out of the corner of my eye.  Even when I was dragged to watch the recent Uruguay vs. Germany match, I read the newspaper and took along some clerical work to keep me occupied between goals.

There is one sport I do follow every year however and one athlete I particularly admire.  I salute Joey Chestnut and his fourth consecutive victory, earning him the right to wear the coveted Mustard Yellow Belt.  I am almost ashamed to admit that I am fascinated by competitive eating.  I've never been to Coney Island myself and it's probably not in my future anytime soon, but I sometimes daydream that I will one day go heat-to-head against Joey Chestnut.

The lady of the house scoffs at my ambitions and shuts off the conversation as soon as I start discussing my aspirations.  We used to go to Spike's Junkyard Dogs where you can get a free tee shirt and your picture on the wall if you can eat six dogs.  My record is two dogs in a half hour. I have some training to do before I can match Joey Chestnut's accomplishment of this year's 54 in ten minutes, and this isn't even his career best.

When I lived in Boston, I would stop at Downtown Crossing and grab a hot dog from one of the Boston's Best carts.  It was a cheap meal on the run.  In New Orleans, I can get into condition by visiting the various Lucky Dogs carts scattered around the French Quarter.  The fact is though that I don't like Lucky's dogs.  I tried one once and I didn't finish it.  Not because it was too much for my frail stomach, it just didn't taste good.

Boston has plenty of good hot dogs.  Speed's of course is in a class by itself (scroll down their page a bit to read the Wall Street Journal review).  I can't even finish one of Speed's creations though the condiments set the culinary standard for what best complements hot dog flavor.

There seems to be a shortage of hot dog carts in New Orleans.  I understand that Lucky Dogs has an exclusive franchise in the French Quarter, but what about anywhere else?  The CBD (Central Business District to our non-New Orleanian readers) and Audubon Park can certainly sustain a cart.  These are just the two most obvious locales aching for a hot dog cart.  It will take a trip to City Hall to discover the answer to this burning question.

An appreciation of sardines

Sardinistas of the world, unite!  Is there a local chapter of sardine affectionados in New Orleans or only fresh seafood?  I see tinned sardines in every corner grocer.

Sticker symbolism

People have been asking me, "What are those stickers on the side of the Littlest Ninja?"  If you are new to the Dot Matrix, the Littlest Ninja is my motorcycle, a 250cc, 2006, blue Kawasaki Ninja.  Formerly the Littlest Ninja this side of the Charles River.  Now the littlest on the East Bank of the mighty Mississippi.

Here's what the Ninja looked like in Boston.  New stickers now, visible here.

This isn't entirely true.  The 250cc Ninja is Kawasaki's most popular bike.  I see them all over New Orleans.  I saw a few in Boston, but less often.  I always find it amazing to read that this is a best seller because every asks me about it, mistaking it for a larger 500cc.  "I didn't know you could get a 250!"  You can.  It costs about $3000 and gets 75mpg.  It's a nice commuter bike and it's very forgiving.  You can handle the twistys and keep up with larger bikes as long as you aren't racing.  Sometimes I think about trading up, but for the minimal upkeep and expense, I'll take my Littlest Ninja.  So far, so good.  I've gotten more than my money's worth.  It's got 22,000 miles on the odometer and it purrs like a kitten getting it's ear scratched when I pull on the throttle.

So, what are the stickers about?  On the right hand side from front tire to rear, they are:  One of Coop's voluptuous devil girl stickers, not the naughtiest of them but risque nonetheless.  The one on the right side is clothed in pink lingerie.  The one on the left is a mirror image except nude with one nipple showing.  There are also three flags on the right faring.  One is German, one is Connecticut, one is Louisiana.  This represents the composition of my household and where we now call home.  The Louisiana flag replaced the Massachusetts state seal over a year ago.

On the right side is the aforementioned naked lady.  Why devil women in states of undress?  These tend to get a lot of attention when I'm stopped in traffic.  Young men will hang their heads out the window and say, "I like your sticker."  I reply, "That's how I like 'em: big and naughty."  Not really but close enough.  There is also the logo for Air Hamburg Airlines, a carrier you probably never heard of.  I've never flown Air Hamburg except in my dreams.  On the Littlest Ninja, it often feels like I'm flying when I'm not stuck in traffic.  I like to think I am going to exotic locales, islands in the North Sea, for instance, even if I'm just headed to the supermarket.  That is an adventure of its own in its way.

So now you know.

Pelican diet

A gulf menhaden

Pelicans, like many of the birds and larger fish in the Gulf survive off a diet that consists mostly of menhaden.  This is a small, oily fish full of tiny bones that fishermen disregard.  Because of the bones and the taste and the size, menhaden aren't considered food fit for humans.  Most fishermen will catch the menhaden in nets and then use them as chum to attract other fish.  These are small fishermen catching small fry.  There is another kind of fisherman who catches every single menhaden he can find for sale.

Omega Protein is the corporation that dominates the menhaden fishery.  As they boast, and rightly so perhaps, they use every single bit of this small fish.  They manufacture those omega-3 fish oil pills you find in health food stores.  They also grind up the fish for animal feed and pet food.  That chicken you eat was probably fattened, at least partly, on menhaden meal.  Mmmmm.

The data isn't yet in on how the menhaden stocks are faring in the current BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill fiasco.  This once plentiful fish will no doubt be affected, however, and not for the better.  Menhaden stocks are already at historic lows.  No matter how many oily pelicans are scrubbed clean with dish detergent, they will still need to eat.  The Gulf ecosystem will be in a shambles for years to come, the food chain disrupted.

Someone will devise some other feed for the factory farmed chickens.  Omega Protein may already be on the case.  That's not the main worry.  What about the pelicans?  They feed themselves and there won't be many fish for them to find.

If you are taking fish oil supplements, you may want to switch to eating tinned sardines from Morocco.  The pelicans will thank you if they survive this.

The world's most beautiful urinal

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the most majestic men's room I have ever had the pleasure to patronize.  Ladies, you'll have to take my word for it.

We went to Deutsches Haus at 200 S. Galvez Street last night to catch a showing of the 1970s classic movie 'Cabaret' starring Michael York and Liza Minelli (with a z) and, of course, Joel Grey.  The film was projected on a big screen in the main bar room.  One other couple was tempted to sit at the center table in front of the screen.  One of the bar televisions was dedicated to screening the film as well and several people gathered at the bar to watch it there.  Though the TV screen was smaller, the picture was crisper and the colors clearer.  I'm old fashioned and I still believe that movies should be bigger than life rather than smaller.  We saw Toy Story 3 recently at the Prytania Theater and I can't imagine that on a small screen.

Anyhow, mid-film, I heard nature calling me so I excused myself to visit the Little Herren Room.  The men's room at Deutsches Haus contains wood paneled stalls that guarantee privacy for private business as well as a shower.  I had no need for these facilities but the room's other fixture was what set this lavatory in a class by itself.

Upon entering, there is a pink marble-lined section of wall.  A gentleman mounts a step and faces the marble to do what that thing people do after they drink a few glasses of beer.  A pipe punctured by downward facing pinholes runs along the top rim of the marble and it's connected to an old fashioned spigot handle shaped like a chrome-plated ship's helm.  A turn of this wheel releases the thinnest stream of pure New Orleans tap water that runs down the wall and down the drain in the floor.

It is a sanitary and elegant operation with more than a touch of class.  Apparently someone in the haus had asparagus for dinner but otherwise this was a most stately setting for satisfying one of life's most basic functions.  There is room for two gentleman to stand side by side, modesty be damned.

Free movies are screened at Deutsches Haus most Wednesday evenings, the Thursday Cabaret was an exception to the schedule.  There is an ample selection of both bottled German beer and select brews on tap.  All in all, a great place to visit while they are still at their original location.  Whether you are German by birth, heritage or inclination, we recommend a trip on the Canal Street streetcar to Deutsches Haus.

If it's too early in the day to be visiting this New Orleans institution, we suggest a walk down the Magnolia Grandiflora Grove.