Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the most majestic men's room I have ever had the pleasure to patronize. Ladies, you'll have to take my word for it.
We went to Deutsches Haus at 200 S. Galvez Street last night to catch a showing of the 1970s classic movie 'Cabaret' starring Michael York and Liza Minelli (with a z) and, of course, Joel Grey. The film was projected on a big screen in the main bar room. One other couple was tempted to sit at the center table in front of the screen. One of the bar televisions was dedicated to screening the film as well and several people gathered at the bar to watch it there. Though the TV screen was smaller, the picture was crisper and the colors clearer. I'm old fashioned and I still believe that movies should be bigger than life rather than smaller. We saw Toy Story 3 recently at the Prytania Theater and I can't imagine that on a small screen.
Anyhow, mid-film, I heard nature calling me so I excused myself to visit the Little Herren Room. The men's room at Deutsches Haus contains wood paneled stalls that guarantee privacy for private business as well as a shower. I had no need for these facilities but the room's other fixture was what set this lavatory in a class by itself.
Upon entering, there is a pink marble-lined section of wall. A gentleman mounts a step and faces the marble to do what that thing people do after they drink a few glasses of beer. A pipe punctured by downward facing pinholes runs along the top rim of the marble and it's connected to an old fashioned spigot handle shaped like a chrome-plated ship's helm. A turn of this wheel releases the thinnest stream of pure New Orleans tap water that runs down the wall and down the drain in the floor.
It is a sanitary and elegant operation with more than a touch of class. Apparently someone in the haus had asparagus for dinner but otherwise this was a most stately setting for satisfying one of life's most basic functions. There is room for two gentleman to stand side by side, modesty be damned.
Free movies are screened at Deutsches Haus most Wednesday evenings, the Thursday Cabaret was an exception to the schedule. There is an ample selection of both bottled German beer and select brews on tap. All in all, a great place to visit while they are still at their original location. Whether you are German by birth, heritage or inclination, we recommend a trip on the Canal Street streetcar to Deutsches Haus.
If it's too early in the day to be visiting this New Orleans institution, we suggest a walk down the Magnolia Grandiflora Grove.