Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Pudding Henge

An unnamed, entrepreneurial impresario has a scheme for a new tourist attraction/employment plan in Dorchester and she is allowing us to leak her blueprint under the condition we protect her anonymity. It is our pleasure to oblige and relate the following...

Our subject is a trust fund heiress who comes from an old Dorchester family that earned its wealth in land speculation a century ago (see the "Streetcar Suburbs" book below). She has invested her wealth conservatively and hasn't been battered overly much by recent economic events and she is willing to put up the funds for her project within reason.

"I was vacationing in Wiltshire County, England last year," she says, "When I saw something that I thought would be perfect for Ronan Park. The park has commanding views of Dorchester and the harbor but no one except the neighborhood people go there really, and then it's to watch Pop Warner and Little League teams play games on the fields. If I can get the Mayor to buy into this, I have the idea to carve up some native Dorchester puddingstone and arrange it into a destination that will rival the Prudential Center."

She showed me some books concerning Neolithic archeology and pyramid building. "Originally I was going to use heavy machinery to get this accomplished, but with the recession going on I think there will be plenty of day laborers looking for an honest day's work. I decided to do this the traditional way, all muscle and sweat. My plan is to start in Dorchester Park and carve up some of the puddingstone boulders that are there into oblong blocks about fifteen feet high and three or four feet wide. I only want to use hand tools. Then, using rollers and ropes, workers can haul the blocks up Dot Ave, which is relatively flat until you reach Ronan Park. It will be like a parade. The final phase will involve the last placement of the blocks in the park next to where the playground is now and then raising them, post and beam style, in a circle. It will be hard work but the community will be involved. Think of what they'll have to show for it."

I mentioned the workers wouldn't want to work for free at this undertaking. She replied, "Though I've weathered the stock market's downturn pretty well, all things considered, I don't have the reserves I did at this time last year. I am willing to pay for labor. Though it won't be hourly wages, I will provide lunch for everyone who participates in this project. I will also provide drinks to keep everyone well hydrated. I think that I'll offer 80 ounces of malt liquor at the end of the day for everyone to enjoy in the evening before it's time to get back to work. That should be enough enticement when times are tough."

What does she plan to call this new monument? Pudding Henge, of course, after the most common stone found in the Dot.

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