Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Lay that pistol down

They call her Pistol Packin' Mama and just plain 'Mama' for short. The only pistol she packs is a water pistol, but she loads it with lemon juice. She doesn't squeeze the juice herself, she uses prepared concentrate for maximum effect.

Mama rides a Chinese scooter. Something called the YY50QB. It's a sweet ride. She sports a holster to carry her sidearm and she keeps a few bottles of RealLemon under the seat. Some wags like to ask, after being introduced, if she is 'red hot.' She replies, laconically as is her nature, "Nah. I'm luke warm until you get me riled up. Cross me wrong and I burn like a welder's torch though, not regular fire. I'll make you go blind." She will too. Lemon juice stings.

Mama's got dead-on aim. She's a sure shot. She comes from an old, shady, Dorchester family that is known for not taking any guff. She has a hair trigger and a short fuse. It is no surprise that she was early on recruited to sign on to the Peppermint Squad's combat battalion. She has a cool head in the heat of battle but if the tide starts to turn to the squad's disadvantage she can rally the troops and mount a charge, shooting bitter invective with her pistol leading the way.

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