This just in from Groton, Conn., the city across the Thames River from beautiful New London: Reports of the Giant Robot under construction in the City of Groton have been confirmed. Rumors have been circulating for several years, but an eyewitness account from a local artist and reporter confirms that fact is, indeed, stranger than fiction. Mr. George Clark has produced a sketch of this Giant Robot that is worthy of a courtroom reporter.
Mr. Clark's report is more chilling for his seeming nonchalance about the menace that looms less than a mile away. According to him this machine stands approximately fifty feet tall and has more than two and less than five legs. Indeed, the makers behind this Giant Robot seem to have been inspired by 1950s B-movies.
Whalehead King, your man in the field, has been chasing this rumor for some time. To find evidence of this Giant Robot's existence is particularly gratifying. Using an old map left over from a previous search, Mr. King took a quick scoot over the Goldstar Memorial Bridge to investigate. Indeed, Mr. Clark's drawing is accurate. The Giant Robot is under construction as we go to press.
The Giant Robot's existence raises a number of questions, but unfortunately people from one side of the river do not talk to people from the other side. We were going to ask the Mayor of New London to interview the Mayor of Groton City about this matter but, unfortunately, we cannot remember who is currently serving in this figurehead position. We spoke to the City Manager's secretary and were assured that this dynamic beaurocrat would be "looking into it."
Assured that the City Manager, as usual, is on top of things, we can rest easily. Any Giant Robot threat will be averted quickly, efficiently, and under budget.
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