Here’s a super hero people can relate to:
Dorchester Man! Dorchester Man! He does what no other Bostonian can! He lays bricks, he wires kitchens, he empties trash barrels, he figures out your taxes. Dorchester Man patches sheetrock, he re-shingles your roof, he re-sides your house, he cleans your gutters, he tightens your plumbing, he fixes your appliances, he fills potholes, he fills cavities, he sells fresh vegetables and bottled soft drinks, he aligns your tires, changes your oil, adjusts your spine and pours a pint of beer off the tap with just the right margin of foamy head. He makes a good sandwich and a satisfying cup of coffee. He is as good a listener as he is a storyteller. Dorchester Man gets the job done right the first time.
Who keeps the streets free of snow in winter? Dorchester Man. Who makes sure your children have supervised after-school activities? Dorchester Man. Who rips up the parking ticket when you get to the car just as he’s tucking that citation under your windshield wiper? Dorchester Man. Who makes the best pizza in the Bay State? Dorchester Man. Who keeps the parks well-groomed, the swing set chains oiled, and the cemeteries respectable? Dorchester Man. Who is a good male role model? Dorchester Man.
Is he strong? Listen, bud…He’s got the most Dot-tastic blood. Wealth and fame, he’s ignored. Action is his reward. Dorchester, Mass. packs more action than Mohammad Ali’s six pack abs ever saw. Six times six is thirty-six but Dorchester’s spirit is bigger than that: it is the spirit of ’76. In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime, like a streak of light, he arrives just in time to set things aright. That’s Dorchester Man. He’s an honest man and a good one. He knows how to roundhouse and he knows when to buy the house a round. People like him. They can’t help themselves. Dorchester Man is a homegrown hero.
Take a look overhead. The stars twinkle like Dorchester Man’s eyes.
The ladies swoon when Dorchester Man passes. He approaches and they say, “Look! Here comes Dorchester Man!” He goes on his way seeking further adventure in this biggest and best of Boston’s neighborhoods. The little girls sing, “There goes the Dorchester Man.” Then they collectively croon, “Oooooo-ooooo! There goes the Dorchester Man!”
Wherever there’s a bang-up, life’s not a great big hang-up when you swing like the Dorchester Man.