Saturday, April 28, 2007

Foul Weather Friend

Today was not the best day to be a scooterist. Your intrepid vesperado went through a puddle so deep, the water went over his leg shield and even doused his hat. He stopped to stand up so that the water would run out of his lap and down a storm drain. Luckily, he is used to foul weather and he has the gear to handle it with impunity.

Whalehead King owns a Weatherproof® brand, 100% polyester fedora, lovingly made in China. It fits so perfectly that it stays on his head in gale force winds. Even at top speed on his scooter during a hurricane, this hat stays put. The brim is firmly in place, guarding its owner’s eyeglasses from blinding raindrops. He tilts his head a bit for maximum protection.

His trench coat is likewise waterproof. Rain rolls off it like a fisherman’s slicker. Rather than being made of yellow rubber, Mr. King’s coat is a tight weave of synthetic, stylish, microfibers. It buttons to the neck and the collar is sewn down so as not to flap distractingly in the breeze. It is long enough to protect his thighs from getting soaked and the scooter’s leg shield protects his shins and boots.

A little known fact: When Whalehead King arrives at his destination, though the front of his coat is wet, his back is dry. It is a result of his perpetual motion. No matter how wet he appears to be, his suit and tie are dry underneath and his starched shirt is still pressed with razor-sharp creases along the sleeves.

It takes more than inclement weather to keep a good man off his scooter. With a little foresight and preparation, even a dandy can look good no matter what the elements throw at him. He is like Teflon. He is like stainless steel. He is like titanium alloy. He carries himself proudly in fair weather or foul. You can’t keep a man-about-New London off the streets for long.

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